How to Apply the TTM Model of Change to Your Life Right Now: Self-Coaching Through Change

Perhaps you’ve heard the joke: “How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it takes a long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.”

And why would it want to? Because change, especially intentional change, can be hard. If it weren’t, we’d all be eating 6 – 8 vegetables and fruits every day, getting 7 – 9 hours of quality sleep every night, meeting the minimum amount of time recommended for exercise each week, reducing stress, having perfect social connections, being fully engaged in a job we love, and spending less time on social media. The (very human) thing is that behaviors serve many purposes. We turn to comfort foods, alcohol, drugs, scrolling through social media, or binge-watching our guilty pleasures in order to cope with stress or emotions too big to handle. These habits feel good and are easier to continue than to change. But what if we’re actively trying to replace those habits with healthier ones, like mindfulness instead of comfort eating or breathwork to reduce anxiety. Not as easy, right?

Ironically, the truth is that change is the only real constant. If you look back at your life, you’ll see how many changes you’ve made along the way. Some were subtle, and some were as obvious as the stars in a clear night sky. Yet, many of those changes happened so gradually that you barely noticed them. Moving through school, getting your first job, relocating, getting married, having kids, or changing careers are just a few examples.

For the purpose of this article, I’m talking about intentional change – the kind we choose consciously, despite how difficult it feels. Letting go of our old thoughts that no longer serve us, making healthier eating choices, getting more sleep, making new friends as introverts, or taking time to be alone as extroverts.

The Stages of Change

At the heart of coaching is change talk. This is when a coach hears inklings from their client that they’re considering doing something differently. This is when the coaching magic begins.

In James and Janice Prochaska’s groundbreaking book, “Changing to Thrive,” the authors propose six stages of change (also known as the TTM – Transtheoretical Model of Change):

1. Precontemplation – I won’t or I can’t. This is when someone is not ready to make a change or has tried to change something in the past and has not been successful, leading to ambivalence about trying again.

2. Contemplation – I may. Considering whether to make a change happens at this stage.

3. Preparation – I will. We are beginning to take steps to figure out how to move forward with the change.

4. Action – I am. We are currently trying out steps that are aimed at making the change.

5. Maintenance – I still am. Doing those steps consistently for at least six months or more indicates someone in this stage.

6. Termination – I still am. There are no thoughts of relapse.

I’m simplifying the stages of change here. For a deeper dive into each stage of change, “Changing to Thrive,” is a fantastic resource.

Why Should I Care?

As The Who crooned in their song, “5:15,” Why Should I Care?

Recognizing which stage of change you’re in can help you figure out how to move forward if that’s what you choose to do. And it’s perfectly respectable, and common, to stay in precontemplation and contemplation for a very long time.

Examples of Changes to Consider:

* Quitting smoking (research finds it takes an average of seven attempts to quit for life)

* Exercising more

* Finding a new job/career

* Making new friends

* Building a sleep routine

Things are Never Straightforward

If you’ve ever tried to learn a new skill, like playing an instrument, taking on a new language, or cooking, you might recognize that the learning process is not always linear. And so it goes with the change process. You might find yourself in the maintenance stage at one point in your life and then back at precontemplation or contemplation later. You can go right from contemplation into action. These are all normal parts of the process.

Key Things to Keep in Mind Throughout the Change Process

* Stay curious, neutral, and non-judgmental. Think of this as a learning process and approach it with a beginner’s mind, as if you were asking a child or a friend these questions.

* Self-compassion is crucial throughout all the stages of change, as is being aware of your self-talk. When has beating yourself up ever worked for sustainable change? It usually just makes us feel bad that we’re not progressing faster (or at all). By practicing self-compassion and acknowledging our humanity, we can approach our journey as if we’re helping a friend uncover interesting and wonderful things about themselves.

* Failure is a gift! It means we tried something, figured out what didn’t work, and now we can try something else. Plan to fail on purpose! (If you don’t, you’ve figured out what worked. If you do, you already planned on it.)

* Ask “how” or “what” questions instead of “why” questions. “Why” questions can often come across as judgmental. For example, “Why is this so hard for me to change?” Instead ask, “What is so difficult about this change for me.” This allows you to use your curiosity instead of judgment, leading to clearer insights.

How to Get Started

Within each stage, asking yourself some key questions can help you determine whether you’re ready to move into the next phase, stay where you are (with unconditional positive regard, of course), or experiment with moving forward.

Things to Consider and Questions to Ask Yourself in Each Stage of Change

Precontemplation: It’s important in this stage to acknowledge and accept without judgment that you’re not ready to change, as well as use that self-compassion to see this as a normal, human experience. It’s also a time to ask questions like, “How will I know when I’m ready to make a change?” This type of question helps you identify the signs that might indicate you’re ready to move into the next stage.

Contemplation: What are the pros and cons of changing? Write them down or type them out to see them objectively. This can help you weigh your options and decide if you’re ready to move into the preparation phase.

Preparation: What is one small step you could try to help facilitate change? Choose an action that is so simple that you almost can’t not do it. Identify one simple action that feels doable and start there. Tackling multiple steps at once can make it challenging to figure out what’s working and what’s not. Be specific about when you will take this action and how you will measure your success in completing it.

Action: How can you make this change fun or playful? Finding ways to enjoy the process can make it easier to stick with. After you’ve tried this action for at least a week or more, ask yourself, “What’s working for me as I try out this action?” “What’s not working for me?” These questions can give you guidance about how to tweak the action (or try a new one) if it’s not working. And if it is, keep going! And add a new action if you’re feeling motivated.

Maintenance: How will you handle setbacks? Planning for challenges can help you stay on track when things don’t go as planned.

A Personal Example: My Struggle with Cutting Back on Sugar

Here’s a quick example of how I might use these questions to work through the stages of change in my own life. One might think that as a health and wellness coach, I would have kicked the sugar habit by now. One would be as wrong as a bad toupee. I’m talking in particular about my fondness for an icy cold fountain Coke. Here’s how I could apply the TTM model to cut back on my Coke consumption.

Precontemplation: I don’t see the problem. I’ve loved Coke for as long as I can remember. It was my go-to comfort drink after a long tennis match or a stressful day. I’m not ready to give it up. How will I know when I’m ready to cut back? If my bloodwork indicated that I was prediabetic.

Contemplation: I’m starting to realize the impact. I’m weighing the pros and cons when thinking about changing my sugar consumption as I consider how it might be affecting my health. But I’m not sure if I’m ready to make a change.

Preparation: I made a plan. I decided I would try cutting back to one Coke a week. I started thinking about how I would handle cravings on the days I wouldn’t have a Coke.

Action: I started taking steps. I set a specific day for my weekly Coke and made sure I had other plans for when a craving hit during the rest of the week (like going for a walk or reading a book).

Maintenance: I’m sticking with it. I’ve been sticking to one Coke a week for several months. It’s become part of my routine. How will I handle setbacks? I’ll give myself some grace and start over the next week.

The journey through the stages of change isn’t always linear. You might find yourself moving back and forth between stages. That’s okay! The important thing is to approach it with curiosity, self-compassion, and a willingness to learn from your experiences.

Change is a journey, not a destination. By understanding where you are in the process and taking small, intentional steps, you can move closer to the life you want to live. Even small changes can lead to significant improvements in the long run! And remember, it’s okay to take your time. The important thing is to keep moving forward, one step at a time.

If you’re the lightbulb, what changes, if any, do you want to make so you can shine your brightest

?